Due to unforseen circumstances, Wordplay at the ABC Treehouse got cancelled for tonight. This means we won’t be performing our scene there tonight but we will perform at Wordplay next month. Stay tuned!
Acting in front of the Camera
The course is fun and a learning experience so far! Marina is very nice, as well as the other participants.
We did scenes from Bride Flight, Floor Faber and Flikken Maastricht.
I am looking forward to Monday, when Michiel Ten Horn will come by to direct us.
I have seen his short film “Arie” at the Dutch Film Festival last year and that was a truly enjoyable experience. I’m a huge fan of short films and this was a fun one.
Aart Staartjes and Eric van Der Donk are in it. I think that anyone who’s watched Klokhuis and the Dutch Sesame Street (every Dutch person out there, I think) will grin enthusiastically at the thought alone.
The website: Arie.
The Making Of:
I’m curious for Monday!
While I am shivering in the cold at Toomler waiting for the doors to open, another early bird enters the scene.
I tell her a friendly hello but my smile freezes firmly on my face when my eye sets upon her handbag. This because it’s a bit impolite to friendly greet a stranger to then gawk at her with a horrified glare. It confuses people. Besides, I have a good 10 minutes of waiting with her yet to come. I nod, to give my smile some oomph. The bag is no ordinary bag; it’s a fox.
My face is in an extreme conflict.
My smile suggests: “Aw. How very lovely!”
My eyes scream: “Is that my most favorite animal!!!!? Shot!? Skinned, head to toe to be artistically folded in double to create…. a handbag!!!??”
She sits down next to me. The fox doesn’t have those stuffed-fox eyes, but those small beady eyes like on a teddy bear. This gives me a spark of hope. Maybe it’s like those scary fake cats you sometimes come across at a market. I am silent for a bit longer, but cannot resist my curiosity.
I clear my throat a little bit, to be able to toss it in there as nonchalant and polite as possible.
“Is that a-uhm- a real fox?”
“Awn!” It comes flying out of my mouth before I know it. I make an exaggerated pout, to mellow it down a little, but it’s already too late.
-”Oh no! You are not one of those, are you?”
“Oh neu-neu-neu-no. HA HA HA!”
-”That’s a relief!”
Somewhere deep inside the true Claartje starts bawling in a very pitiful manner. Violins ascent.
“I’ve left my spray can at home today. HA HA HA.”
-”They shoot them anyway when there are too many of them, you know.”
I take another look at the fox..
“I uhm -It’s -It is just my absolute favorite animal. That’s all.”
I stare at my shoes, a bit embarrassed. I don’t believe it’s still socially acceptable to utter the phrase ‘is my absolute favorite animal’ when you are 27 years old. ‘Used to be my absolute favorite animal. Back when I was 7.’ That’s fine. But ‘is my absolute favorite animal’ in present tense? Unacceptable! Still, dear people, THE FOX! IS!!!! MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ANIMAL!! There. That’s refreshing.
-”My daughter thinks it’s so cute!”
“Oh, does she?”
-”Oh well. I simply love fur.”
We wait in silence till the register opens. I glance at her fur collar and her fur boots every once in a while. She’s PETA’s nightmare.
Oh well. She simply loves fur.
And I’m apparently too polite to be an extreme animal rights activist. Pity. It was such an opportunity!
At 6 o clock in the morning, I was still sleeping wonderfully until suddenly a big bang woke me up. I decided that the checking-out-what-it-was part could be delayed for an hour, and wanted to turn around and go back to sleep, when the beeping started.
The smoke alarm had come sailing down the ceiling.
“I know! I know!”
“Where is the off button!WHEEEREEE IS THE OFF BUTTON!”
In a wild panic I pressed the only button I could discover on the thing.
It didn’t work.
Shaking didn’t help either.
Ah. Twist to open.
I yanked the lid thing off the battery.
Pfffft. Silence. Lovely silence. I tossed the thing on the countertop.
The battery was touching the lid thing again, that villain!
One final seperation later, I went back to bed. That’s when I started to ponder fondly on carbon-monoxide poisoning. Ahhhh.
This year I’m taking part in the Sonnema Talent Tour!
I perform on the 2nd of february 2010 at the Comedy Cafe.
You can find more information about the tour at the website of the Sonnema Talent Tour. Look, there is also a bio of me.
Here is a picture of Echt Gebeurd last month in Toomler:
The start of 2010 asks for resolutions. On January first, right away, I made one come true that was on my list for my entire life already and I couldn’t even dream of it to have that actually happen.I had stopped counting on it already, because it was a tricky one:
Accidentally being left behind in the zoo after closing time.
Tricky for two reasons:
1) I had alert parents as a kid, who didn’t allow this to happen to me.
2) Now I’ve stopped being a kid, there is no easy case of “accidental” here.
It happened after all! On January first, Stephen and I decided to do the most fun thing I can imagine to do on a free New Years day: Off to the zoo!!!! It was freezing cold and Januari first, so it wasn’t so busy at Blijdorp Zoo.
We gasped at jellyfish for hours and at bats and lions and whatever else skips around there. We were convinced! In the future, once we’ve realized our cunning plans of world domination, these aquarium walls and the over-your-head-sea- aquarium tunnel were to be a must-have in our villain cave.
After wandering around for a couple of hours, it started to get pretty dark, but that happens quite easily in January.
We came across a dark small building that had the door open and we couldn’t resist our curiousity. It was pinch dark and there was another animal in one of the cages. We could hear a sort of scraping sound and we inched closer very carefully. When our eyes got used to the dark a bit, we could just about make out a tail-like- shadow. Was that? Could that be a? A scary growl came from out of nowhere and we ran out like screaming school girls. Yes. That was indeed a lioness.
Adrenaline still screaming through our bodies, we decided to relax a bit in the butterfly garden (the butterflies were no longer active, but those signals passed us by) and after that we went to the bird house, which had another surprise for us. There were also birds *outside* of the cages. This became clear after one flew right over Stephens head. Carefully we went deeper into the bird house. Birds can be quite scary, sometimes. And the entire park seemed abandoned! The tucans were so beautiful that it didn’t cross our mind for too long.
Suddenly there was a voice:
“Hi! I know you’re having a fun time here, but the park is closed for half an hour already.”
We mumbled something about that it wasn’t announced that it was closing time, and forgotten about the time and more things like it. I had to try really hard not to grin extremely wide. My secret wish had come true!
The zookeeper wasn’t even angry! He guided us out, all the gates were locked already! Teeheeeee!
The new year has strated again! Time to announce what has happened the past month. Here we go:
Roamed a couple of open mikes, the Comedy Cafe (twice) and the Comedy Theater aan de Nes (1x).
In Other events:
I joined the December Edition of Echt Gebeurd in Toomler. It was a ton of fun. Real Christmas stories that actually happened, told in an intimite admosphere. You can find more information (in Dutch) about Gebeurd here. The concept is based on The Moth (Very recommended, in English).
I start this new year right away with a workshop at Kemna Casting, tomorrow already! en Acteren in front of the camera. Marina Wijn is teaching it. I am looking forward!
More stand-up Comedy:
Lach Us Comedyclub New Years Edition
When the holidays are over, you’re probably ready for an evening of laughter. That’s possible on Wednesday january 6th 2010 for only 5 euro at Lach Us comedyclub! We start 2010 with a good show:
* Maarten Ebbers: Jury- and audience winner of the Leids Cabaret Festival 2009.
The jury called Ebbers ”a good energetic performer, who is very musical to boot. He switches effordless from Blues singer to hardrocker and takes the audience with him to his absurd family world just as easily.
* Lambros Fisfis: Winner of the Sonnema Talent Tour 2009. (in ENglish)
The jury: “Lambros had a spectacular opening. And a tight act with perfect timing and good jokes. He was the only finalist who had the attention of the audience for the full 100 percent. His performance was balanced!”
* Claartje van Swaaij: That’s me!
* Joke Sitsen: Finalist Sonnema Talent Tour 2009.
* Frank Deuring: Young comedian who performs throughout the country.
MC: Soula Notos. (VERY funny lady).
Want to see a joke be born? Want to see comedians at the start of their carreer? Or see comedians test their new programme? Come visit Lach Us COmedyclub. Every first Wednesday of the month you can enjoy stand-up comedy and cabaret in Café Sappho.
short movie to test the RED.
Ben Abelsma: schrijver
Claartje van Swaaij: schrijfster
Simon Catz: Opdrachtgever
Camera: Boudewijn Rolff
Geluid: Gert Aasman
Licht: Jelle Hidma
Make-up: Mischa Oussoren
Montage: Jonathan Vermeulen
Kleurcorrectie: Gerlof Kamerling
Audionabewerking: Marco Trappenburg
Originele muziek: Wieke Garcia
Scenario/Regie: Jan van den Nieuwenhuijzen
met dank aan: Hugo Metsers cast en crew
Richard Gale makes hilarious short films. This one for example… absolutely hilarious!! Watch! Laugh! Wahahahahah. My kind of humor, this.
1 van de 12 commercials gemaakt door de derdejaars studenten van de Nederlandse Film en Televisie Academie in September 2009.
productie Judith de Weert
regie Anne-Marieke Graafmans
opnameleiding Bart le Belle
script-continuiteit Bart Kuipers
camera Sanne van Rossum
production design Kim Verduijn
sound design Richard Wilder
montage Marlinde van Hedel
assistentie on set Menno Dijkstra en Patrick Mere
Met: Anne-Marie Jung, Cathelijne Wassenaar, Claartje van Swaaij, Cornelia Middelkamp Hup, Lotte Dunselman, Marietta Koning